February 24, 2004 - 1:16 PM

I experienced a TON in New York and words cannot express to you what an amazing trip it was for me for so many reasons.

I mean, if any of my NY posts resulted in you feeling something�.really feeling something�good, bad, reminiscent, joyful, etc., then multiply that by a billion and that was my trip. A trip full of feelings�although mostly good ones. Feelings that you want to distill down to their basic components, put them into liquid form and shoot it into your veins three times a day.

So much went on there�and I tried to take notes�but a lot is still swimming around in my head.

Here�s some that stopped swimming.

1. I came to the realization that I�m in big time denial of how obsessed I am with this band. Out loud I tell friends how I don�t feel for them as much as in my youth, but then something happened on this trip that smacked me across the face and may lead to a support group in my future.

2. Regarding point one, I came to the conclusion that I am an obsessed freak because, long story short, we deduced the building that the lead-singer was moving into with clues from several real-estate articles, and testing our detective skills inquired with the front desk if said rock star lived there and stupid front desk people showed us the tenant list and whoop der it is.

I�m gonna get arrested. I�m scaring myself.

3. David Schwimmer walked in front of our car. 5 people, open-mouthed, gaping, slack jawed staring�.he must�ve felt the eyes boring holes into him and looked our way�saw us�turned away�.and just kept walking.

Four cameras in hand and nobody gets off a shot.

4. An amazing black man at the former WTC location yelling teachings about the history of the WTC to anyone who would listen. He had hand outs. He focused on the kids. He asked questions of them to make sure they were listening. He told them not to forget what happened. He told them that hate is a powerful thing. He had a jean jacket on that said �HISTORY� on the back with Pepe le Pew above it. Look for him. He�s a smart man.

5. My Orange County friend asking a Stage Deli ancient waitress if she could get avocado on her Turkey sandwich and the waitress�s amusedly irritated response of, �We don�t have avocado.�.

6. Realizing, that everything DOES come back to Seinfeld.

7. Getting trapped in an ATM alcove with a sleeping homeless man.

8. Feeling sad for every lone glove spied on the sidewalk. Wanting to start an adoption agency for the abandoned, lost gloves.

9. Elevators that went so high your ears popped.

10. Being three feet away from Keenan Ivory Wayans and two of his brothers that names end with Wayans and later realzing they had just stood us up for a 1:30 appointment.

11. A couple approaching us in Times Square on Valentine�s Day asking if we could take their picture. The man shows my husband how to work the camera and then tells him, covertly, that after the first picture is taken he will propose to her and ��could you please just keep taking pictures?�. So he did. And the guy gets down on one knee, and the girl is crying and smiling and everyone applauds and they hug and the ring is beautiful. The end.

12. Enthusiastically calling a man friend of mine on his cell phone with my standard greeting for him. It went something like this:

Ring Ring

F-----�s phone.

ME: YO BITCH! THIS IS YOUR BITCH! WHAT�S UP?!?!

Um, excuse me?

ME: I SAID, YO BITCH! IT�S YOUR BITCH! WHAZZ HAPPENIN�?!?!?

Uh, I think you want F____, Let me get him

ME (not outloud): Shit.

Hello?�chuckling

ME: F_____?!?! That wasn�t you?!?! Oh my God, who was that?!?! Please tell me it wasn�t anyone important!

Naw�just my new boss. His face is probably about as red as yours is right now. What did you say to him?

ME: I just pulled a Tracy.

Again?

13. A Goth bar that had porn on and coffins and severed heads and Jesus stuff and Tool and I played Dio�s �Holy Diver� on the jukebox four times cuz I hadn�t heard it in since I was fucked up stoned in the back of 65 Camaro or something wearing Capezios and having big hair.

And so it goes�

And so it goes�

And, just for Leah, here�s a picture of my $20 fake Prada that I love so much I just might marry.

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