June 24, 2004 - 12:19 PM

I am going insane today.

Cuz of gnats.

Little fucking gnats.

First and always an office annoyance here at my workplace.

So I cut out throwing any food items, particularly fruit, away in my trash.

I take all my food trash downstairs. Let the annoying fuckers congregate down there.

But today�.despite no food items in my trash can. They are out for my blood.

I killed one and they sent out the Bug Mafia on me. Like an insect Godfather they are attacking me from all angles now. They swoop up from under my chin when my mouth�s open, kamikaze attempts to make me ingest one I�m sure. I am hand clapping them in death blows but missing 8 times out of 9. They dart away quicklike in their haphazard fashion laughing in that high squealy voice once uttered by a human turned infamous Fly.

Then they send more.

I swear that now whenever they dive bomb me and I try to handclap them to death I am cackling like a madwoman.

I swear they have an intelligence and they know what they do.

Makes me thrill all the more in killing their bug asses.

Ha! Killed another one! MOTHERFUCKERS DIE!

But for every one I smash four more show up. They have the fucking gnat posse on call. Yelling downstairs to the food trashcan, �Backup! We need backup!�

I share an office and yet they only attack me. Little whizzes of black tiny flits of wings by my head in front of my face fuckers must die!

I am handclapping and laughing and fist grabbing them and laughing because it is so hysterically hilarious that they are fucking with me on purpose now.

I HATE THEM! WHAT PURPOSE DO THEY SERVE??!! NOTHING! POLLENATE THIS MOTHERFUCKER!

Don�t I look like a rocker chick er something here� Nice huge arm too. Awesome.

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