June 20, 2004 - 7:35 AM

Little Asian girl…no need to be scared of me. I’m just a big girl with daisies on her shoes and a Sponge Bob ring on her pinky. You go right ahead and pick up your red squeaky shoes and put them on your sand dusty little feet. I won’t bite unless you want me to.

Ass onna dirty park bench.

Jeff Buckley in my ears.

You on my mind.

I got this supposedly good recipe for chimichangas this week. I was thinking of making them tomorrow. What do you think?

It’s getting windy now.

I had lunch with a cop and his wife last week. They are nice and all except for the part about them being racist and homophobic. Yeah, that part wasn’t so good.

And her eyebrows were distracting as hell. Like a booger hanging from her nose that yer not supposed to look at that you can’t help but find your eyes drawn to and you try not to look but you keep looking.

Why? Cuz they were all sculpted and rectangular and painted. I’m not even sure they were made of hair. They might’ve been a tattoo. Can tattoos be brown? They were so straight edged and squarey and looked relocated to a new position on her forehead. How do women do that? Do they have a stencil or something? Are squarish painted eyebrows attractive? When she gets mad does she have to draw in madbrows?

These were things I thought about while eating with them.

I think that will be the first and last time I eat lunch with them.

Wind is still here and getting stronger I think. Good thing I brought a jacket.

Funny how all the kids use the twisty and bumpy slides and ignore the straight ones.

Uh oh, this man just said hi to me like I should know him then he started talking to me and I played that game where I pretended I knew who he was. Then he walked away. Who was he? How do I know him? DO I know him? Am I that guy from Memento? Maybe I should start tattooing things onto my body to remind me of stuff.

I don’t have any tattoos but if I got one I’d get it on the back of my neck. It would be a smallish and gender neutral leaning toward masculine tattoo. No girlie butterfly/heart/unicorn piece of shit. I have no idea what I would get, but I know it wouldn’t be some pussygirl feminine flowers with stars and Tweety Bird and fairies crap that’s fer shure.

It wouldn’t be tribal either…that’s too mid-late 90’s.

Whatev…I’m not getting a tattoo. I can’t even commit to a new pair of pants.

I like watching little kids play around on a playground. One time I was atta playground and a short yellow bus fulla special kids came and they were so great to watch. They were older on the outside and smaller on the inside. And all smiling and so innocent and in the moment. It was cool.

My feet are still Shreklike and wounded. I really need to go get my toes pretty but the smallish Vietnamese ladies will certainly comment on them and try to sell me a paraffin wax treatment and then I will soak in the blue bubbly water and get some sort of parasital infection in my open sores which would result in them swelling up to three times their size and I couldn’t wear shoes. I’d have to wrap parachutes around my feet and wear big giant suits like David Byrne so my feet would seem in proportion to the rest of me and just pretend I don’t notice people staring at my giant parachute wrapped feet.

Now it’s fathers day. My dad was a traditional dad. Not too affectionate. Peed in the downstairs sink. Wore Ben Davis.

But he’s a good guy and I love him. And it took about 28 years before I could tell him that and him me. But now it’s easy and less uncomfortable.

I’d also like to give a special shout out to a gal who also has a special day today. She’s older by one year today and that’s on the outside cuz on the inside I think she’s a lot younger even though I could be wrong. She’s Katie Van Helsing, Katie Halitosis, Katie David Bowie and Katie Halloween and I would be lying if I didn’t admit I’m a bit infatuated by her loveliness. I gave her a theme song even though she hasn’t heard it yet but one day she will and then she will see how I see her and then maybe she will know she is great. The end. No it’s not..happy birthday Katie.

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