June 08, 2004 - 11:52 AM

Dear ______,

Hey have you seen Katie's site today. There's the cutest picture of her on her site, you're probably going to want to bite your PC. Remember your kidnapping plan from a few months back? Well you may want to revive that, and get me involved somehow. We should call it something other than kidnapping though.

Any ideas?

We should get code names too.

X

=====

Dear X,

I am deleting the part where you put my name. I don’t want to be arrested should this plan come to fruition. Code names are a good idea. Can I be Mr. Pink? What do you want to be? X is so boring.

As you know my old kidnapping plot, er, how about we call it, the “take away scheme” was originally inspired from my viewing of one of my favorite films, “Ruthless People”. Let’s hope Matthew is nothing like Danny Devito’s character in that film.

Hey, does he even have any money or is that not our main objective?

Pls. Write back,

Mr. Pink (unless you think this is too transgender…)

===

Pinky,

Oh wait I got it, call me the Bandito that way if we get busted we can blame El Guapo.

I don't think money is the objective here, mostly it's just so we can look at her, comb her hair and keep her as a pet. She can have her own room and stuff. I wonder if her boyfriend will have a problem with this? He seems like the kind of guy who won't take this kind of thing lightlyHmmm

We should consider taking him away too so it's less suspicious.

====

Dear Bandito-

Please don’t call me Pinky. It’s MR. Pink. Pinky is too Warner Brothers meets Tuscadero and is plain old not very agenty. Thanks in advance.

I agree about the objective. I would like to comb her hair as well and give her a bubble bath. We could have candles. I would like to get her a gaming system for her room. Do you know if she would prefer Playstation over Gamecube?

What does she like to eat? We should buy a lot of it..whatever it is. (But I hope it’s not cheeseballs….cuz then I’d make her starve)

I think you’re right on taking her BF as well. He’s cute and maybe I could comb his hair as well, but I don’t think he deserves his own gaming system. Maybe I could give him an abacus and some sidewalk chalk instead.

We need to make a list of equipment…what do you have and what can you get?

MR. Pink

Mr. Pink,

She likes ice cream and she's kinda boozy which is

pretty hot. This is going to be the best take away

plan ever. Way better then when we took the lady who

said "Where's the Beef" I showed her where it was

though, Bandito style. This might end up similarly

but I doubt that K can take her teeth out like Clara

Peller could.

Also I'd say Playstation, and magazines, she likes

those. When you fill out the subscription cards don't

use her real name like I did that one time, man my

face was red when we got busted. Try a fake name like

Johnny Longbone, I use that name a lot.

We'll get the boy too, he's pretty cool. We may in

fact find him very useful.

So what time is this on, where will it take place?

Bandito

=====

Dear Bandito-

I like ice cream and booze too. That makes me want to do this take away scheme even more.

I am so excited in lots of ways!

Is Highlights For Children considered a magazine?

I think we need to set up a fake rendezvous at Coach & Horses as I hear she likes to hang out there. We’d have to nab her outside though to avoid witnesses. I’d hate to shoot anyone so early in the game.

Unless there is a back door. Then maybe we can get her when she pees.

I just checked and I’m all out of chloroform, so we might just have to get her wasted off Jagermeister or something.

I have duct tape and a ball gag.

Do you have a white van with no windows?

What day is good for you? My kid has a softball game on Friday and Saturday morning, so maybe we could take her away on Saturday night. Please let me know what works for you.

-Mr. Pink

=====

It's on. We'll invite her out then you meet me and

we'll take the van. I'll keep a lookout while you go

in. I call this part of the plan "Pink on the

inside". You tell her you need to go to your car to

get a pile of free magazines you have won for her and

BAM we got her.

It's tickle fights and bubble baths from that point

on. Seems pretty flawless to me. How does 10 o'clock

sound?

====

10’0clock won’t work, how about 10:30?

If that is fine, then I will swing by the designated meeting area and leave my rental car there. I’ll jump in the van with you and we can dress each other up in those disguises we had from before (the NON-leather ones) and then we’ll head over.

In addition to the tickle fights and bubble baths, can we do her nails too?

So excited!

Yours Truly,

Mr. Pink

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