May 12, 2004 - 12:29 PM

I think the guy at McDonalds slipped me a couple Tylenol PM’s in my sausage egg McGriddle this morning cuz man am I DRAGGING!

I should probably turn around to just make sure there isn’t an anvil chained to my ass….cuz I heard some clanking earlier.

(It could happen….)

This fog is all about my head and shoulders.

I am now going to try to combat the fog with a fun size Milky Way and my fuck buddy, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.

And, I know there must be some explanation for why they named the food of the Gods “Reese’s”. Like, it was the inventor guy’s last name or something, but really what a waste.

I mean, if not Reese’s, it really SHOULD be called, “Food of the Gods”, or “The Best Candy Ever” or, at the least, “Better Than Sex”.

SOMETHING!

Something other than the non-descript, lackluster, full of yawnness that is “Reeses”. I mean, it’s SO underselling it. What a crap marketing move.

At least they have that bright orange, yellow, brown packaging going for them. I mean, I see those colors and my panties get wet.

Er, I mean, I start salivating.

You want me to jump on you in a hard way? Just come to my door on Halloween dressed as a human sized Reese’s. They might just have to call the cops on me.

911 Dispatch: “I’m sorry m’am…did you say there was a lady eating someone on her front porch?”

M’am: “Yes! Hurry! Come quick! She’s almost done!” (blood curdling screaming sounds in background)

I just really like Reese’s. I just want the best for it. And a new name would be the place to start I think.

I’m juss sayin’….

Last thing… I have a theme song for this girl. She is the cuteness. And somehow, I have to give her the theme song.

And I will….somehow.

The end.

Oh, sorry no, not the end actually.

I just had to mention that I saw a man get his head cut off today. Well, it didn't get cut off TODAY today. But I saw it today.

We are all going to hell in a red, white and blue handbasket.

It's so sad.

Okay...NOW the end.

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