May 09, 2004 - 8:24 AM

It started out with a certain soothing cadence. First erattic and then up to speed and regular.

When I went out walking this morning, bright and early, past many a breakfast in bed in progress I'm thinkin', I did it much earlier than usual.

I did it for sport.

cuz, see, the old men in my neighborhood get up early to do their thing. And I thought it was time I put them in their old men place.

So, the guy with the cane was easy. He was a sidewalk hog. So I just took the street instead. He thought he was being clever. He got served.

Passed him with a mighty wind that shook him almost to his caney core.

Took the roundabout way that I always do and when I popped back up on the main course, who's there again but Caney!

Ha ha!

This tortise and hare game he was playing was starting to get interesting..

But as I came up out onto the main route, I noticed surly old saggy chest skin former military old guy.

Now there were two.

And let me just tell you about surly old saggy chest skin former military old guy. He's a walker regular in these parts and feared by most. Never takes the sidewalk, never has a shirt on, most usually has a big straw hat on. Rain or shine he walks. Big blobs of black tattoos on his forearms. Surly expression. Pound Pound Pound on the ground with his black socks in his tennies.

So, here's how it went down.

Caney had the sidewalk and I knew he was gonna be no problem, but surly old saggy chest skin former military old guy had the street. and he's pretty quick. I had to quickly bust out from the sidewalk I was on and gain speed on surlyoldsaggychestskinformermilitaryold guy and get past Caney righteous fast.

Which I did.

As soon as I hit the street I made like paper sound and fast tracked it so Caney was on my right. I could hear the pound pound pound and whoosh of surlyoldsaggychestskinformermilitaryold guy's straw hat which made me stride even harder and faster.

I never looked back and the old fuckers ate my dust.

ha.

And the only reason I walk anymore is just to give a reason to listen to my iPod.

Seriously.

cuz if i just sat down in one place and listened to it I would feel hella guilty.

Yes, I just said "hella".

And the last thing I need to tell you about is

The hottest thing that happened last night.

It lasted a good 25-30 seconds, but it was extremely arousing.

The bartendar poured me a dirty one and it was overflowing.

he set it down between two, out of a group of five, nice looking men.

I realized there's no way in hell I'm gonna be able to drag that bad boy off the bar and to my lips without fucking up the dry nature of these guys' thighs.

So, without further ado, and with much dirty thoughts as I could muster, cuz I knew exactly what i wanted to do and I hoped it would be appreciated, I bent at the waist, put both hands on the edge of the bar leaned my head all forward and sipped from my glass as it sat on the bar. my thighs against one of each of theirs.

took a breath, head slightly upraised for a second,

then i went down on it again.

had to..it was still too full.

their thighs were warm.

head comes up again. the dirty thing looked at a reasonable level to be removed from the bar. so I began my travel back to uprightness but not without the man to my right giving me a smiling, appreciative, "Nice job."

You gotta get hotness when you can, cuz opportunities like that just don't make themselves.

carpe diem! seize the hotness!

thanks.

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