May 05, 2004 - 8:04 PM

There is human crap on my front lawn.

People poo.

See, we have this little sewer problem going on right now.

We really need to call a roto person to snake out our clean out pipe cuz man, there are turds.

and what is the etiquette when the roto man comes out to snake things and he has to stick his jangly metal snake thing into a pipe where turds are clearly visible.

It's almost embarrassing.

Like a boner in sweatpants during oral book report week at school.

Do I try to scoop the turds away? I know they belong to someone close to me, but really, they are feces. I'm not too keen on touching poo. Even if it came out of someone I love.

Do I just show him the pipe and say, "There it is buddy, try not to get to close to the poo! Heh heh..."

joke joke

Maybe I just ignore it all. After all, the guy's probably a professional. I bet he sees strange turds every day. It's probably no big deal. All in a day's work. I'll just point him to the poop pipe and say, "There you go buddy, have at it."

But we really must call soon. I think we most defintely might be polluting the water supply in our village. I'm pretty sure I saw a wildebeast keeling over near our sidewalk.

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