February 10, 2004 - 7:02 AM

A coupla days ago I watched two pornos…both on fast forward.

Well, ONE of them was a porn…the other wasn’t so much a porn as it was a video of a very obese woman with breasts the size of Hippity Hops.

Making goo goo faces at the camera.

Taking off and putting on bras that could have doubled as mess hall tents in Desert Storm.

Rubbing oil all over her gigantoids.

I can’t even call them breasts because they were oh so much more….disgusting than actual breasts.

Actual breasts should fill a champagne glass, not a swimming pool.

And in some scenes she had a friend with her….equally, but not quite totally, matching her hugeness.

And the cellulite decided to have a party.

The big gals took turns rubbing each other up with oil.

The gigantoids were the main focus.

Wiggled, jiggled, shaken…stirred…

I guess there are men that get off on enormous amounts of flesh disguised…loosely…as breasts.

And the best part about this particular video…was when they used their gigantoids to make a guy’s head into a hamburger.

Their breasts were the bun.

One flopped on top, one underneath.

The guy sat there stupidly. He was a hamburger head.

It wasn’t sexy.

The other porn?

It was called “T-Baggers”. You figure it out.

Apparently, my porn-by-mail service had hit upon my “research” selections.

The only time I stopped fast forwarding was when I came upon a smallish woman with biggish breasts. The kind of biggish breasts that look painful.

And she had completely bad skin.

And she was a dirty, dirty girl.

And she got majorly t-bagged by two guys…one guy having a pair of extremely saggy testicles.

He covered her face.

It kinda looked like a flying squirrel had landed on it.

A mostly hairless flying squirrel…

Good thing…cuz that face…

Ugh.

I have to stop this research and just get me some straight up, high quality, masturbation material.

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