2004-01-18 - 5:03 p.m.

I crossed one thing off my list last night.

You know, that list....The one that has all the things you need to do before you die.

Like, drop acid at least once, have a m/m/f threesome, win a bathtub sized stuffed animal at a carnival doing that stupid ring toss, learn Japanese, spend all night in a graveyard, drive cross country in a Winnebago, meet Stephen King, etc.

Well, it felt good crossing one off my list.

I got up all the dirty martini induced confidence I could muster and with the "help" of a friend who drug (dragged?) me up to the sign up guy, I took off my shoes and got into the ring.

A chaps wearing cowboy, who ironically was from Australia, assisted me onto the beast quite nicely.

Instruction was given. At least, I think it was. The music was so loud I wasn't quite sure if he was telling me how to fall off the thing or how to stay on. Good thing I had paid close attention to the 18 or so other drunken meatheads and meatheadettes who went before me so I knew EXACTLY how to fall off.

So, I decided to focus on the staying on part.

And I think I did a pretty good job of it.

And the fact that each of my thighs are about the approximate size of any member of the Lollipop Guild helped my ride time considerably.

The moment I did the Nestea plunge into the burgundy padded floor I immediately wanted to get back up and do it again.

It was fun.

I highly reccommend it. And if it's embarrassing yourself in front of dozens of strangers, don't even worry about that. Cuz when you're up there, all you can see is lights shining in your face, all you can hear are your friends' screaming, "Ride it Bitch!", and "That's a lot of beef between your thighs!" and you don't even give a crap cuz that mother scooter is going to start moving any minute and your one arm is up in the air juslika cowboy...and you want to be ready..and then WHOAH!

And I know why boys like watching girls riding mechanical bulls.

Because it looks like they're fucking.

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